compassionate living – Everyday Ahimsa

Earth Honoring Practices for the Whole Family

Encouraging a love for our planet and honoring nature can be simple to incorporate into our daily lives with a little patience and creativity. Here are just a few ways to develop this practice, with varied levels for each member of the family.

Connect With the Natural World: When we connect with nature, we make a relatively abstract concept feel more relevant. This sets the foundation for preservation and conservation of our most precious resources.
- Babies– take walks together (in a stroller, carrier, or toddling around). Allow them to experience with all their senses in a rich way. Feel the breezes, smell the smells, touch all the varied textures, and watch the branches sway. Try to get out in each season and in all types of weather.
- Small Children– In addition to taking walks outdoors, allow for free time to explore. Let them play in mud, water, sand, and snow without any agenda or timeframe. Provide opportunities to wander at their own pace, collecting items of interest along the way. Look out the window each day and talk about how your naturescape is changing. Make a bird feeder in winter, plant some seeds and watch them grow in spring. Don’t forget to stomp in the mud!
- Children and Teens– In addition to free exploration, introduce some outdoor activities. Biking, scootering, hiking, geocaching, kite flying and camping are just a few to start with.
- Everyone Else– Find time everyday to get outside. Feel the air on your face and take a few deep breaths. If it’s available to you, walk barefoot (the practice of grounding), explore an unknown area, plant a small garden or some flowers.
Eat your Veggies (fruits and beans too)– Research the connection between a plant-based diet and how it can drastically improve our planet. The facts are clear that switching to a diet free of animal products reduces greenhouse gas emissions, a major contributor to climate change, prevents deforestation, and improves overall health (think of all that medical waste). It also frees up land typically used for animals and converts it to land for plants, which acre for acre produces more food – thus feeding many more people. Even if you aren’t fully ready to make the switch, you can make small important changes that make a difference. Make fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes regular staples in your household recipes for all family members. Some great websites for recipes include The Minimalist Baker, Monkey and Me Kitchen, and Forks Over Knives (which has a fabulous meal planner and beginner’s guide as well). If you prefer something a little simpler, try a meal subscription like Purple Carrot. They have delicious, easy recipes that will get you excited about eating plants and you can become familiar with new ingredients and ways to season your food!
- Children– Kids are naturally attracted to all the beautiful colors in the fruit rainbow! Keep large bowls of fruit out on the counter for healthy snacking. Invite them to choose fruits and veggies from the grocery store, pick out a recipe and get started cooking together. Provide a space where they can observe you enjoying healthy, fresh food. Look up ways that phytonutrients and antioxidants from eating specific foods benefit health and share with your kids. They love absorbing new information. Keep a light heart and have fun!
Reduce Waste- there are many ways to reduce the amount of “stuff” we are consuming and accumulating. I have a post about zero waste strategies you can visit here. Below are some additional ways to build this practice into family life.
- Babies– resist the urge to buy all the things. There is an astounding amount of gently used baby gear out there on Facebook Marketplace, Buy Nothing Groups, and Consignment sales. Websites such as Kidizen and Poshmark are excellent places to find specific clothing items by brand at reduced prices.
- Children– create a “less is more” mindset in your home. Limit (or eliminate) cheaply made plastic toys and opt for higher quality items that will last several developmental stages. Simpler toys such as building blocks, play dough and art supplies, stuffed animals and puppets, tracks and vehicles, and a play-house set allow for hours of rich creative play that spans many age ranges and developmental levels. Again, resist the urge to purchase trendy and specific “character” based toys. Alternatives to those items include “character”stickers, coloring books and traditional books. Your kids won’t feel like they are missing out if you normalize these practices for them from the start. Use your local library, they are a wonderful resource. Encourage your children to pick and choose whatever books they like. This teaches them the joy of literature, the spirit of sharing, and also helps them fulfill that need of gathering a collection.
- Everyone Else- There are so many practices to reduce waste. A few places to begin: reduce consumption of consumables and single use plastic (especially bottled water), cook at home and reduce food waste, and buy second hand when possible. Focus on one area at a time. There are so many options for reusable containers made of glass, silicone, and stainless steel. Find one that will work for your family’s rhythm. Invest in a set of reusable water bottles for the family. Learn a new skill- batch cook, sprout at home, make broth from food scraps, and cook with those leftovers in the back of the fridge. Find a second hand store you like and search there before buying new. Consider purchasing used fleece (which is a plastic based fabrics) whenever possible. Patagonia has an excellent gently used clothing site called Worn Wear which we love to support. And avoid fast fashion completely if possible. Textile waste is a huge problem, particularly in third world countries which are bombarded with our clothing waste. Last on the list, find and support your local farmers market and buy local as much as possible!

I hope you have found something on this list than will enrich your life and grow even more love for our precious Earth.

Peace to All, Life to All, Love to All- Sat Nam.

Passive Agression: the subtle ways our words and actions hurt ourselves and one another.

Bearing witness to anger while honoring our needs.

Most of us have experienced passive aggressive behavior, we may be the one affected by it or the one dishing it out. Passive aggressive behavior, the act of saying or doing something indirectly in order to send a message of criticism, anger or disapproval to someone else, is anything but harmless. Like many of you, I am part of a social and family circle where passive aggressive behavior is tolerated. Sarcasm and humor are used to mask a judgmental slight and under-handed compliments are spouted as routinely as empty social niceties. But, they feel bad- really bad.

In my personal healing work, I am realizing just how much passive aggressive behavior hurts me. Its affect is very real, and because it is normalized by society, it is often overlooked. Passive aggression at its most basic level, is an act of defense from someone who has difficulty letting down their guard enough to be vulnerable and speak their truth without fear. In an effort to protect themselves (and their position), without being clear and sure of themselves, they opt for a passive (yet aggressive) work around. Case in point, I had a neighbor recently have her visitor park in our parking spot. When I asked if her visitor could park in a visitor spot next time, my neighbor agreed but then went on to say that she, herself, is not particular and doesn’t mind where she parks (implying that my request was petty). She was clearly hurt or angered, but unable to verbalize that to me comfortably. Instead she belittled and nullified my viewpoint. That’s the thing about passive aggression, it is an act of violence against yourself as well as others. She wasn’t able to speak her truth or release her defenses and so acted that out on me. I was left questioning if I had done something wrong.

Where there is aggression of any kind, there is victimization. It is important to realize this and put it into context and not to blame yourself. Again, passive aggressive behavior feels bad…because it’s designed to feel that way. In any life situation, my goal is to listen carefully to my inner voice and needs, share my concerns (in a kind and sensitive way), set boundaries where they are appropriate, and give myself the care I require to maintain a loving relationship with the Self.

Below are some of the ways that I’ve learned to address passive aggression as it comes up in my own life.

Recognize the comment for what it is- a form of aggression. Don’t react or take the bait. Breathe.
Listen and feel deeply into how the comment or action makes you feel. Is there an additional “charge” to it? This could be a triggering of other experiences you’ve had in your life which are amplified by the comment.
Don’t judge and criticize yourself (or the other person). We all have our own wounding, some of us are taking an active role in healing it, others are not there yet. All of us are deserving of compassion and love.
Speak the truth and say what you mean. Ideally, this should be from your highest self as often as possible. Be kind, but be direct. It should be at a later point in time when the negative charge of the particular situation has dissipated.
If you can only do one thing- pray for them. An act of aggression is rooted in fear, insecurity and unsafety. Pray that they can receive your love and can heal.

Using ahimsa as a guiding principle calls us to act from a place of clarity, from our highest self, and to feel safe enough that we can share our position with someone else in a healthy way. This takes courage and a strong sense of self love. It is a practice…and it takes time. In our current culture, there are plenty of opportunities for us to practice this skill. Don’t get discouraged and keep practicing until passive aggression no longer has an impact on your life and is no longer used as a tool to hurt each another.

When confronted with those blinded by their own wounding and suffering, I am reminded of this quote from Yogi Bhajan, “If you can’t see love in all, you can’t see love at all.”

Sat Nam

Ahimsa: an introduction

I’m starting to learn a few things about myself and this life. I’m learning that life’s mysteries need not be so scary; that when I become still and listen, I can tune in to a stillness inside myself that guides and comforts me and I now know that my sensitive spirit needs space to nurture itself and feed my soul. I’ve also learned that this term Ahimsa, one I started intimately knowing many years ago- means way more than I ever knew possible and is more relevant now than ever. I’m not sure how I first stumbled upon the term Ahimsa; it feels like it’s been a part of me my whole life, but growing up in an Irish/Italian Catholic family, I know Ahimsa somehow found its way to me, and it stuck.

In its simplest sense, ahimsa is a yogic term meaning to live your life causing the least amount of harm to others as possible. As a vegan, I relate to the concept of ahimsa in a very intimate and profound way. Ahimsa is the foundational concept of living a compassionate life, to seeing the inherent worth in all beings and believing that all beings are sacred and divine. Ahimsa influences what I eat, how I spend my free time, how I treat both friends and strangers, and what I buy.

I was called to create this space to share how this thread of ahimsa inspires me each day and connects me to you and all of us together as one. In a world that sometimes feels like divisiveness and insults are becoming the norm, the warmth and love from living a life guided by Ahimsa is a call back to my own heart.

post